When things aren't working

• A slow start looks like: the service began two weeks late, the new provider is still learning your child, or a goal written in May is barely moving in September. Give a new arrangement about six weeks of honest data before you judge it.
• A real problem looks like: what's written in the IEP is not happening at all, and nobody disputes that when you ask directly. Missing minutes, an unfilled position, a service 'on hold' — that isn't a slow start, it's non-implementation.
• Another real problem: the data says no progress over two consecutive reporting periods and the team's answer is to keep doing the same thing. Lack of progress isn't automatically a violation, but refusing to change the plan in response to it is where the trouble starts.
• Also real: you asked for something specific, the team said no, and you never got a Prior Written Notice explaining the refusal and the data behind it. A verbal no with no PWN is both a problem in itself and a sign the team is improvising.
• The tell that separates the two: with a slow start, your questions get specific answers — dates, names, numbers. With a real problem, the answers stay general no matter how specifically you ask.

• Pick one problem, not five. 'Speech minutes aren't being delivered' is provable. 'The school doesn't care about my kid' isn't, and it puts everyone on the defensive.
• Log dated, factual entries at home as they happen — not from memory three months later. The Home Data Logs tool is built for exactly this and keeps everything in your browser.
• Compare what the IEP promises to what the record shows: service logs, progress reports, attendance, work samples that come home. Request the full file if you don't have it; you're entitled to it, usually within 45 days.
• After every phone call or hallway conversation, send a short confirming email: 'Thanks for talking today. My understanding is X, and you said Y by Z date.' If nobody corrects it, you now have a dated record of it.
• Write the pattern in one paragraph: what the IEP says, what has actually happened, over what span of time, and what you're asking for. If you can't fit it in a paragraph, the pattern isn't clear enough yet.

Work them in sequence. Skipping rungs rarely speeds anything up, and the record you build at each step is exactly what the next step runs on.

1. 1

   Step 1 — Ask the person closest to the problem

   One email to the teacher, provider, or case manager, naming the specific thing and asking one specific question. Most problems genuinely end here, and starting higher costs you goodwill you'll want later. Give it a week.

2. 2

   Step 2 — Put the request in writing, to the right person

   Email the case manager and copy the building administrator or special education coordinator. State the fact, the date range, the section of the IEP it touches, and the resolution you want, with a reasonable deadline. Writing is what turns a concern into a record.

3. 3

   Step 3 — Request an IEP team meeting

   You can request a meeting at any time, in writing, and the district must respond. Say what decisions you want made and ask that the relevant data be brought. Bring your written concerns statement so it goes in the record whether or not the team agrees with it.

4. 4

   Step 4 — Ask for what the refusal is based on

   If the team says no, request Prior Written Notice: what was proposed or refused, why, what data was used, and what else was considered. A district that must write down its reasoning sometimes changes it. If it doesn't, you now have the other side's case in their own words.

5. 5

   Step 5 — State complaint (often the lowest-cost lever)

   Every state education agency accepts a written special education complaint alleging a violation in the last year, and must investigate and issue findings — typically within 60 days. It's free, needs no lawyer, and is well suited to 'the service in the IEP isn't happening' facts.

6. 6

   Step 6 — Mediation

   Voluntary for both sides, free to you, and available at any point. See below for what it actually involves.

7. 7

   Step 7 — Due process

   The formal legal route. Powerful, slow, and expensive in ways that go beyond money. Details below.

• A neutral mediator trained in special education law sits down with you and the district. The state pays. You do not need a lawyer, though you may bring one, and you can bring an advocate or a support person.
• It is voluntary on both sides, usually scheduled within weeks rather than months, and it can be requested without filing anything adversarial first.
• It's a conversation, not a hearing. Nobody rules on who's right. The mediator moves you toward an agreement both sides can live with — often a compensatory-services package, an independent evaluation, or a written implementation plan with dates.
• Discussions are confidential and can't be used later as evidence in a due process hearing. That's what makes people willing to be candid.
• If you reach agreement, it's written and signed and is legally enforceable in court. Read it slowly — 'the district will provide additional speech services' with no number of hours and no deadline is not something you can enforce.
• If you don't reach agreement, nothing is lost. Every other option remains open.

• You file a written due process complaint; an impartial hearing officer hears evidence and testimony and issues a binding decision. It's a trial-like proceeding with witnesses, exhibits, and cross-examination.
• There's generally a two-year window from when you knew or should have known about the problem, though states vary. The district must offer a resolution meeting within 15 days, and many cases settle there or at mediation.
• 'Stay put' applies once you file: your child stays in the current placement and services until it's resolved. That protects you against an unwanted change — and locks in a placement you're unhappy with.
• Realistic costs: months of your life, thousands of dollars if you hire counsel, and an expert evaluation you'll likely need to pay for up front. Prevailing parents can be awarded attorney's fees, but that comes later and isn't guaranteed.
• It's worth considering when the stakes are large and durable — placement, a denial of FAPE over a long period, an unresolved safety issue, or a substantial compensatory-services claim — and the record clearly documents it.
• It's usually the wrong tool for one missed service month, a personality conflict, or a dispute you'd settle for something the district has already hinted it would give. Those get solved faster and cheaper at steps 2 through 6.
• Before filing, talk to your state's Parent Training and Information Center. The consultation is free, they know your state's hearing officers and timelines, and they'll tell you honestly whether your documentation is ready.

• Escalate the issue, never the person. 'The IEP calls for 60 minutes weekly and the logs show 20' is a fact about a document. 'You're failing my son' is a fact about a person, and it changes the room permanently.
• Tell people before you go over their heads. 'I haven't gotten an answer, so I'm going to email the director on Friday — I wanted you to hear it from me first' preserves more relationships than it burns.
• Keep saying what's working. A parent who names the aide who's doing a great job is a parent whose complaints get treated as accurate rather than habitual.
• Separate the teacher from the district. The person in front of you frequently agrees with you and can't say so. Aiming a systems problem at an individual costs you the only ally in the room.
• Stay boring in writing. Short, dated, factual, unemotional emails are the ones that get forwarded to lawyers and read well. Write the angry draft; send the boring one.
• Expect the relationship to hold. Districts handle complaints and mediations regularly, and staff who work with your child are typically not told the details. Retaliation is prohibited — and if you see it, document that too, immediately.